Jokes
caterline
He's back!
Some more appalling jokes from David Walker!The Grim Reaper came for me last night, and I beat him off with a vacuum cleaner. Talk about Dyson with death. I went to the cemetery yesterday to lay some flowers on a grave. As I was standing there I noticed 4 grave diggers walking about with a coffin, 3 hours later and they're still walking about with it. I thought to myself, they've lost the plot! My daughter asked me for a pet spider for her birthday, so I went to our local pet shop ...
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UP
From the Claphams This two-letter word in English has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that word is 'UP.' I...
Was this written by Nigel Farage, I wonder...Was this written by Nigel Farage,...
From the Claphams The British Penny - European Union Directive No. 456179
Choices
By David Walker Celibacy can be a choice in life, or a condition imposed by circumstances.
Grandparents' Answering MachineGrandparents' Answering Machine
From David Walker
Australian love poemAustralian love poem
By David Walker
A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,KA,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K
from David Walker After being married for thirty years, a wife asked her husband to describe her
Die another dayDie another day
In the Christmas edition of The BMJ this week, doctors describe how one Tuesday in April they were confronted by a very upset pati...
The Half WitThe Half Wit
An oldie but still funny!! Thanks to David Walker
Drunk Driver Drunk Driver
From the Claphams Recently a routine Police patrol car parked outside a local neighbourhood pub late in the evening. The office...
Burglar BurglarBurglar Burglar
From David Walker
WimbledonWimbledon
A man had two of the best tickets for Wimbledon
Confessions of a hookerConfessions of a hooker
From David Walker
Police recruitment
David Walker is back!
Forget Newton and Galileo!Forget Newton and Galileo!
By David Walker Here are the real laws of nature:
The Bus Conducter
From David Walker A chap in America is working on the buses collecting fares and one day he pushes one of his passengers off th...
Winter fuel allowanceWinter fuel allowance
Thanks again to David Walker for this one
The CatThe Cat
From David Walker We were dressed and ready to go out for a Dinner & Theatre evening.
Your First Christmas Joke - and it's Scottish.......... Your First Christmas Joke - and...
From David Walker A man in Scotland calls his son in London the day before Christmas Eve and says:
Have I sent this before?Have I sent this before?
From David Walker As I was lying in bed pondering the problems of the world, I rapidly realized that I don't really give a rat'...
Sheriff Joe is at it again!
From David Walker You may remember Sheriff Joe Arpaio of Arizona , who painted the jail cells pink and made the inmates wear pi...
Eating in the fiftiesEating in the fifties
Not that your old enough to remember!!!!
Trespassers.....Trespassers.....
From David Walker
A Senior MomentA Senior Moment
From David Walker A 98 year old woman in the UK wrote this to her bank. The bank manager thought it amusing enough to have it p...
Motivational Thought for The DayMotivational Thought for The Day
From David Walker
The Flower Show...The Flower Show...
From the Claphams Two little old ladies, Dorace & Jackie were sitting on a park bench outside the local town hall where a flowe...
Mama's Bible........................Mama's Bible........................
From David Walker Four brothers left home for college, and they became successful doctors and lawyers.
ParaprosdokiansParaprosdokians
From David Walker Paraprosdokians (Winston Churchill loved them) are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence o...
On the supermarket PA system: 'Cleanup on aisle 25, we have a husband down'On the supermarket PA system: 'Cleanup...
From David Walker A husband and wife were shopping in their local supermarket
Lottery winner!Lottery winner!
From David Walker A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into the house. She slammed the door and sho...
Risky breakfastRisky breakfast
From David Walker A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.
Seniors Bus ToursSeniors Bus Tours
From David Walker A tour bus driver is driving with a bus load of seniors down a highway when he is tapped on his shoulder by a...
**Rrriiiiinnnnggg, rrriiiinnnngg****Rrriiiiinnnnggg, rrriiiinnnngg**
From David Walker
Will you donateWill you donate
From the Claphams A driver was stuck in a traffic jam on the M25. Nothing was moving.
Learning to cussLearning to cuss
From David Walker A 6 year old and a 4 year old are raking the yard.
Old Men Playing GolfOld Men Playing Golf
From the Claphams Arthur is 90 years old. He's played golf every day since his retirement 25 years ago.
Mother Lessons
From David Walker What I owe my Mother
A   Desert  Love Story A Desert Love...
From the Claphams Once upon a time there was a very handsome male camel with two huge camel humps.
Kind Hearted Me!Kind Hearted Me!
Last night my wife and I walked past an incredibly expensive and swanky restaurant.
My Satnav
By David Walker
Awesome Paint Job !Awesome Paint Job !
From David Walker Some lad with a paint brush?
An Old Man DaysAn Old Man Days
From the Claphams This one is for the ladies……….
Ann Summers FatalityAnn Summers Fatality
A man walks into Ann Summers to purchase some see-through lingerie for his wife.
Comedy Carpet Live!Comedy Carpet Live!
This weekend sees the funniest in Blackpool’s calendar kicks off.
Absolutely Brilliant!!!Absolutely Brilliant!!!
From David Walker
Sensitive AussieSensitive Aussie
From David Walker
Prayer for GrandpaPrayer for Grandpa
From David Walker (someones Grandpa?)
WhyWhy
From David Walker
A woman's poemA woman's poem
From David Walker
Old Men Playing GolfOld Men Playing Golf
Another one from the Isabel
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