A mother has described how she resorted to asking for her runaway daughter to go into care in a desperate bid to protect her from sexual exploitation.
The mum, who has asked not to be named to protect her daughters’ identity, is highlighting her story to raise awareness of the links between children missing from home and child sexual exploitation as part of today’s National Child Sexual Exploitation Awareness Day.
The mum described how her then 14-year-old daughter got into an intense friendship with a new girl at her school and started to go missing for whole nights and even weekends at a time.
For a long time the teenager was able to cover her tracks by saying she was staying with her dad, who was separated from her mother. It was only when her father moved house and she moved back in with her mum full time that her worrying new habits fully came to light.
The mum said: “She and her friend would end up in Piccadilly Gardens in Manchester City Centre or houses miles from home, where often they were being groomed by older men.
“She admits now that she knew ‘they just wanted sex’ but she had thought she could keep safe and run away if they became too pushy. In the meantime, it felt fun and exciting to her to get so much attention and flattery – one of the men who was always trying to get her alone told her she looked like Angelina Jolie.”
The mum tried all measures to keep her daughter safe at home but the teenager would go absent from school and even climbed out of her bedroom window to escape to meet her so called friends.
“She said she hated me and wouldn’t talk to me and would be in a bad mood with her siblings. I felt so frustrated and angry but also scared and helpless.”
The family sought help from the local authority who quickly identified that the teenager was at risk of CSE and a social worker started working with them. It was agreed, at both the mother and daughter’s request, that the child would go into temporary foster care to help break her ties with the dangerous circle of friends.
The mum said: “People say it must be the worse feeling in the world for your child to go in care but it’s nowhere near as bad as knowing your child may have been sexually exploited. Hearing the police have had to take your child’s underwear for forensic testing because she has been in the company of a suspected sex offender – that’s the worst feeling in the world. Luckily we managed to intervene before she came to any serious harm.
“My daughter was keen to go into care because she had heard a glamorised version from her friend that it was great and that you get free money. Her first placement didn’t work out but then she spent six weeks with a family who brought her some stability and she really turned a corner. I think the happy family setting made her miss her own family. She asked to come home and we haven’t looked back.”
Her daughter is now 18 and studying at college.
“Yes she is a typical teenager and goes out with her friends but she stays local, comes home on time and we have a good relationship. I make lots of time for her, we go out for lunch together and we talk. I think keeping the door open for communication is so important.”
Last year the mum was asked to talk to other parents at part of the It’s Not Okay campaign, a unique collaboration of police, councils, health and other partners to raise awareness of and tackle CSE. She has since volunteered with a parents’ support group – Parents Together Protecting Children – to assist other families who find themselves affected by the same issues.
“This is a positive story because we managed to do something to protect my daughter and get her life back on track. I want other parents who feel helpless to know they can do something and there is help available.”
For further information and guidance on children missing from home see itsnotokay.co.uk/missing
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